A Lesson In Fine Print

If you are a close friend of mine you might know that I had agreed to place some of my money in a savings plan last year - whose name I should have mentioned to you previously but I shall not reveal here, for fear of being sued - and if you remember you might have also remembered that I thought it was a good decision.

It was not, for many reasons, but I can summarise it into one.

I didn't read the fine print properly.

This is a problem that can arise, especially for hot-blooded males who might get just a little bit more distracted when you see the Relationship Manager on the other side of the table has those luscious curls and an above-megawatt smile. Short of money, and undoubtedly having a financial intelligence quotient equivalent to the beggar on the street, I agreed because my idea of a savings plan was this:

1. Savings plan = I save for a higher interest rate.

2. It seemed that I should have been able to take out the funds that I put in (losing my interest gains) if I needed it, i.e. it had almost equal liquidity to my cash savings account. So, I wasn't worried.

3. I thought it was non-investment linked. Savings plan, right? Not mutual fund or unit trust.

4. And to think I even thought they were so nice as to offer me insurance benefits. Any stupid idiot would have realised that it was an insurance plan.

I signed, and picking up the documents for my plan last week I realised these four points were all false.

1. Savings plan? The teller at the bank said it was a savings plan, but the RM said that it was underwritten by an insurance company. And I was deaf to that.

2. Apparently, I could take out my funds any time I wanted, but not all the funds. The earlier I took out the money, the more I would lose. (the word INSURANCE now rang in my head.)

3. Non-investment linked, my ass. No, seriously. That was what I thought, then I saw that I had one lot of shares in two international funds that were apparently reputable. But when I contacted the bank and asked for the cash surrender value, i.e. the money I would get back from withdrawing my whole policy, the RM claimed that I would only retrieve a pathetic $113.85.

3. (cont'd) That figure is my monthly contribution to the plan, and it has been operational for 17 months. Which means, I would have lost 16 months' worth of my funds if I had withdrawn.

What makes things worse is that the figure $113.85 is just one-third of the money that they projected I would have gotten back in the projected returns table.

What I'm saying in common English: when I signed up for the plan, they said if I withdrew after 17 months, I would get back around $300+. However, I would only get back a pathetic $113.85 if I did withdraw (which I didn't).

My real concern is... I'm not a financial planner/Warren Buffett, but:

Aren't the objectives of mutual funds normally about stability and diversification?

From January 2006 to May 2007, the Dow Jones went from hovering below the 11,000 mark to almost 13,700 points. An amazing 2,700 points increase - 25% if you want it in proportion, over a 17-month period.

In 17 months, the money I put in had its value reduced to one third of its original - that is a 66% fall if you want it in proportion.

Do you get the math?

If the funds had been buying the market - as I would suspect most funds do, buying for the averages - then they should have at least roamed towards a humble or decent rate of growth.

But a backward movement when the economy is steamrolling forward? Are mutual funds as "stable" as most people think?

I've learnt my lesson.

4. No wonder they offer insurance benefits. From the returns they're giving out, the investor might have a heart attack reading the balance sheet.

Thank You

It is only when something major happens in your life when you truly realise who your true friends are.

At this juncture I would like to thank those who have helped. I don't know how else I can describe how grateful I am for your help.

Thank you.

The Multilingual Approach

Since my rather controversial decision to blog occasionally in Japanese, I realise that I am beginning to enjoy this transition between languages: it is more than just exploring the words and savouring the different ways they may be arranged to give you a meaning, but more about discovering myself with every writing.

If you're grumbling, you can practise selective sight and get your eyes off the monitor for a while, imagine that they aren't there, and scroll to the parts in English.

It's that simple.

(Decipher: In the wake of my slight flu, major fever and diarrhoea - as well as writer's block - I am struggling with The Factory at the moment. Do forgive, but you are more likely to forget, aren't you?)

When The Reds Go Marching In

Almost all photos courtesy of Soccernet.com.

Match ticket... 32 bloody quid.

New Anfield... 220 million pounds.

Rafa Benitez... Priceless.

For everything else, there's George & Tom.

*****

Absolutely superb banner there.

JUST IN CASE YOU WERE LIVING SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN A WELL AND A ROCK, LIVERPOOL MADE IT TO ATHENS 2007 LAST NIGHT.

And I apologise if this post might turn out a little messier than usual - I'm taking some time to sort out my exhausted mind and rather mixed-up thoughts.

All I know is, I'm bloody happy right now. Delighted.

When The Reds Go Marching In

Oh when the Reds go marching in

Oh when the Reds go marching in

I want to be, be in that number

When the Reds go marching in

Liverpool, Liverpool, Liverpool, Liverpool...

You'll Never Walk Alone

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

Alone, alone

With hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

Alone, alone

More cheers, and applause.

Rafael Benitez sits on the pitch, looking on at the eleven players that he'd chosen for the penalty shootout. Jose Mourinho looks on, and the Liverpool players are all in a huddle.

Bolo Zenden, the first penalty taker, shows that his nervousness is just an act. 1-0 Reds. I hug my cushion and scream. My neighbours the Man U fans scream even louder.

Arjen Robben, Zenden's former Dutch colleague, shows that is calmness is just an act. Reina swings the right way and saves it. 1-0 Reds. I jump up in glee.

Xabi Alonso, the man who missed the penalty two years ago in Istanbul, but slammed home the rebound, showed that he didn't need one this time to redeem himself. 2-0 Reds.

Frank Lampard, the one they mistake for Gerrard at Chelsea, slams home. 2-1 Reds.

The real Stevie Gerrard stands up, steps into the penalty area, looks a little nervous, but reminds himself he's done it all before. "I've got a European Cup winner's medal and you don't," his eyes taunt at Petr Cech.

And gets it. 3-1 Reds. Advantage Liverpool.

Geremi, the one who was substituted because, as Martin Tyler claims, he is a "good striker of the ball", aka a great penalty taker, comes on to do his thing.

He misses the penalty - his only contribution to the game, if you could consider it one - and the final is halfway into Liverpool's reach.

Dirk Kuyt has to do it, and he whistles as he steps back for the penalty.

Petr Cech looks nervous this time.

And Kuyt slams home. 4-1 Reds, simply unstoppable, Athens here we bloody come, for European Cup No. 6.

You better watch out.